Finding the Joy in January
How is 2021 hitting you so far? I don’t have any strong opinions on the year yet, other than my dogged determination to make the very best of whatever it offers. We’ve been enjoying a few days out of our normal routine to be together as a family. We’ve been staying in pajamas for large parts of each day, snuggling up, reading more, playing some of our new Christmas games and mostly taking it easy. We took down all of our interior Christmas decorations yesterday to get us in a good position for work and school resuming, but we will leave our exterior lights up and on for at least a few more days.
I was honestly a little shocked at how good it felt to me to put away the Christmas stuff. This is traditionally something I dread, some years it has even made me cry. Something about the magic of the holidays ending and the austerity that a lot of people lend to January (vacation ending, spending cuts to recover from Christmas budget-bursting, diets, more cleaning, etc) really made me blue. It felt like the end of things to be excited about and the beginning of deprivation.
I spent years saying I hated January, but a very wise friend of mine heard it and called me out. She said do you really want to commit to hating 1/12th of your life? WOW! That hit home. I decided right then and there that I was going to change my relationship with January. At first my instinct was to artificially create distractions (trips, parties, spending) and try to inject more fun into a month that had felt sad and long and bleak, but upon further reflection I decided I could do better. I could find the joy in January, mostly as it was. That didn’t mean that I had to go on a yo-yo diet, commit to purging my house of all clutter, or give up something I love, it just meant embracing the parts of a new year that appealed more to me.
I love that January brings a new year and with it the opportunity to look back, look forward, and set the intention for the experiences you want to have. That’s something I could dive into. Dec 31, 2019 Aaron and I sat down together for whole day of thinking and talking and writing about where we were and where we wanted to go as individuals, a couple, and a family. It was fantastic. We were off to a good start.
I could choose to see the good in taking down Christmas decorations, more space! less clutter! By taking away all that we’d layered in I could see more of the house again and feel inspired.
I could choose to look forward to going back to work. Last January the return to work from the holiday shutdown was also the return for me from 22 weeks of maternity leave following Clara’s birth. Returning to work after a new baby can be hard, even if you love your job, and I had reason to feel extra anxious, Clara spent the entire month of Dec 2019 screaming and the best boss I’d ever had who was my champion and friend left my company while I was on leave. I was sending a struggling baby to daycare and returning to uncertainty and challenging business conditions. The impulse to dread and/or panic was strong, but I was committed to my January mindset shift. So rather than dread or panic, I decided to get excited. I could be excited for adult conversations, reconnecting with coworkers I enjoy, using another part of my brain, not having to hold a screaming baby for 16 hours a day. I could be excited to see how the changes in my workplace would play out. And it (mostly) worked. Clara thrived at daycare and with the introduction of solid foods and the screaming stopped and I enjoyed going back to work. Not all of the changes resolved in my favor, it was in a lot of ways a rough year at work, but it my positive attitude gave me the good start I needed to navigate rocky waters.
I chose during the month of January 2020 to commit to healthier eating. Not out of shame or self-hatred, but as a way to care for myself. I was eating really badly and I was feeling badly physically. I decided I wanted to feel better and a good way to do that would be to cut back on sugar and adopt a lower-carb lifestyle. After years of failed diet attempts and false starts where dieting for me meant obsession, deprivation and self-loathing, I suddenly found eating healthier almost easy? It was shocking. I had more energy, my breathing was better, and I lost some weight.
I changed my attitude about January and it changed my experience. January 2020 was a good month for me and for my family (and as luck and COVID-19 would have it, one of the best of the whole year). My mindset shift worked!
And to my surprise, as this January dawned, I didn’t feel sadness or dread.or I was excited. I have found the joy in January. Today we got out for a couple mile hike in Garden of the Gods and marveled in the beauty and majesty of winter. It was a pretty great way to end our holiday vacation and get ready for the first day of work of the new year!
