Kindness & joy: remembering Sandy

This week someone I cared about passed away suddenly. She wasn’t in my inner circle, a direct relation or anything like that (technically she was my fake brother’s Aunt) but she was still very special to me. I got close to her through shared tragic losses, and in those times of terrible grief she brought comfort and support to so many. I didn’t see her or speak to her often, especially since we moved out of Indiana, but every time I did see or talk to her, my spirit was brightened. Being in her company was just joyful. I appreciated how encouraging she was to me as I navigated the transition to becoming a mom, and how she always offered to hold a baby so I could eat in peace, and how she reassured me when I voiced concerns on the difficulties of raising two little boys. She had a huge smile and she gave the best hugs. She radiated kindness. She loved her family deeply and it showed and she didn’t hesitate to bring me into the fold. In addition to the wonderfulness that was unique to Sandy, she was also part of a sacred club of us who loved and lost two other very special people, she helped us keep them alive for each other in stories and memories and shared grief, and losing her also means losing another piece of them.

My heart breaks for her family and all who love her. Reading some of the tributes to her I am not at all surprised to learn that so many people felt much the way about Sandy that I did. Her kindness will live on in the memories of all who were lucky enough to call her a friend.

Losses, especially those that are sudden, often prompt introspection, a call to look at how one is spending one’s precious life. This loss is encouraging me reflect on how I can bring more joy to other people, how my presence in their lives can be a force for greater good, and how I can be kinder.